Finkel's Fast Five - Issue #34

September 21st, 2018

Ever wonder how sporting events and concert tickets seem to sell out instantly and are then available for resale at 3x the price thirty seconds later?
This article by undercover journalists from the Toronto Star investigating how Ticketmaster knowingly and willfully ignores their own policies to get a cut of the price mark-ups will drive you nuts. Despite having "rules" in place to stop scalpers who use bots, they have a service dedicated to scalpers who use bots! Read the piece here - it's unreal.

I hate shaving with a razor. I've hated it my whole life. I hate electric shavers too. But my beard looks like someone threw hair shed from a dachshund's butt at random parts of my face and it stuck. So...
For much of my life I've used clippers with no attachment to shave my face about once a week. It's worked fine. Then I saw a commercial for the Norelco One Blade and it looked cool. I did some research and bought it. I don't know how it works. I kind of think it's some kind of face magic. But it's easy and smooth and I hate shaving my face just slightly less, which is a huge win. Here it is.

The song and video I introduced my kids to this week that was a hit beyond my wildest dreams:
I made Sloppy Joes the other night for the kids for dinner and the entire time I annoyed them by singing the 'Sloppy Joe, Slop, Sloppy Joe' line from Adam Sandler's classic SNL song from 1994, Lunchlady Land. Then I played them the video of Sandler singing and Farley as the lunch lady and the tables have turned. They've been shouting 'Slop! Sloppy Joe!' for three days straight. And I've never been more proud. Sit back, relax and click right here to laugh if you haven't watched it in a while.

Sometimes it feels like half of the players in the NFL come from a few blocks in Miami known as Liberty City and this great piece explores why:
This article written by Kevin Clark explores the ins and outs of the half-dozen blocks north of South Beach that have produced pros like Amari Cooper, Chad Johnson, Duke Johnson, Devonta Freeman and dozens of others. It's well-researched, well-written and a good primer for the upcoming series on the subject. Read it here.

A tremendously written sentence about foie gras:
"Splotched with greenish-white mold and resting on racks in the chef's refrigerated aging room at Knife, his steakhouse in Dallas, they looked like incubating eggs that were about to crack open with baby velociraptors." - Jeff Gordinier, The Big Bite, Esquire, October 2018

Have a great weekend and make sure you avoid eggs that look like they're about to crack open with baby velociraptors!

We have a lot of new readers and members of the FF5 crew this week, so here is A LINK TO AN ARCHIVE OF EVERY FF5 ISSUE SO YOU CAN CATCH UP.

If you haven't shared this yet, all I ask is that you send this next link to two people who you think would like it. It would mean a ton. THANK YOU:

- Jon